My #1 way to get calm and clear

Do you often wish you knew exactly how to get calm and clear about an issue or a problem, quickly and easily? You don’t want a new book or a new e-course; you just want some simple, clear guidance now.

As humans, we tend to look outside of ourselves for answers. We seek validation and vindication and exaltation from family, friends, and things. We often want to know what to do, how to feel, who to be, where to go, when to act—from others. We look for approval, we ask for advice, we read opinions, we worry and we waste precious time thinking that something outside of ourselves will give us what we need.

I’ve come to see there’s a better way. Have you heard about it too? It’s this:

All our answers are within.

Bronnie Ware, the author of the famous book, The top 5 regrets of the dying: a life transformed by the dearly departing says: “In stillness lies the perfect reflection of your soul – a place of peace and wisdom waiting patiently and lovingly for your reconnection.”

And all it takes is stillness and willingness—two beautiful states of being.

Here’s how I do it:

I find a comfortable spot. I take a few deep breaths. I hold my hands in my lap and I still my mind (it gets easier with practice).

Then I ask one simple question (it all hinges on the question):

“What do I need to know right now?”

There is almost always an answer (if there’s not, I keep gently trying). It might be a whispered instruction, a few words of advice; perhaps an image or a symbol. I’ve found it’s always spot-on. Absolutely the right thing I need to know in that moment.

And so I take it seriously.

When I have ended my time in silence, I write down the words I heard. And I’m always incredulous at their accuracy and grateful for their clarity.

I try to use this stillness technique whenever I am drained and exhausted or uncertain—or craving something more.

It need not take too much time. And it’s worth every moment you dedicate to it.

All you have to do is be open to asking and to listening.

It’s exquisite in its simplicity.

It’s a way to carve out even a tiny bit of time for you.

It’s powerful.

It’s immediate.

And if you act on the words you hear, it can be transformative.

So what are we really listening to when we go within? Our inner guidance system, our inner knowing, our intuition, our pure loving spirit, the universe, God—whatever you want to call it (and it has lots of names when you start looking into it).

Bestselling author and ‘spirit junkie’ Gabrielle Bernstein calls this ‘inner voice’ a state of self-love in her book, May cause miracles: a six-week kick-start to unlimited happiness:

“I describe self-love as the place we come to when we let go of everything else … When we release our ego’s false perception of who we are and who we need to be, we can surrender to the truth, which is that we are love. The love that I speak of is an intuitive voice reminding us we’re great and worthy, leading us in the right direction and helping us to let go of resentment and return to peace. This inner presence has been stifled, but through the practice of self-forgiveness and acceptance, we can reawaken this peaceful self-love state.”

Our answers are available to us all the time. It’s the willingness to tune in that’s the challenge (and the greatest reward).

Would you give it a try? Try sitting in stillness and asking:

“What do I need to know right now?”

And enjoy exploring the pathway you’re shown.


(Gabrielle Bernstein says don’t worry if you don’t hear anything at first. Be patient with yourself and keep trying, gently.)

Meditation practices can absolutely take you to this place of inner peace and wisdom. And there are plenty of ways to meditate. I just try to focus less on ‘meditating’ and more on ‘stillness and listening’ for this exercise. You’ll find your own style and rhythm.

For a really powerful look at this topic, here’s Gabby Bernstein in Sydney in 2014:

Here’s a beautiful piece about finding our answers within from The Daily Om.

Louise Hay says: “Remember, meditation is merely a way of you getting in touch with your own inner guidance. While we are always connected with this guidance as we go about our day, it is easier for us to consciously connect when we sit quietly and listen. Let’s affirm: I am divinely guided at all times.”


  • Megan
    March 18, 2015

    This is a beautiful post Nat. I totally agree that we are always searching outside of ourselves when we need only turn inward. I have been listening in to my own guidance and intuition more and more lately.. I find she always knows best.
    Thanks for sharing lovely one X x

    • Nat
      May 13, 2015

      You’re very welcome! 🙂

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